come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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