the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
