I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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