i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
