Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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