someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
