well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
