there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
