At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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