i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
