I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize