you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
