I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
