At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
