I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
