I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
