small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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