Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
