Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I AM VODKA MAN
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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