i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
