It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
