Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This is my gift to your gina
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
