How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
