Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
