the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize