ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
