Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize