mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
