I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
