No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize