oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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