is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
