I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Michael Bay diarrhea
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
