Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
