i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There's always time for handjobs
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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