covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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