i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
