Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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