i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
