are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
