can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize