i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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