is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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