I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
