apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I can't put those talents on a resume
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
