Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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