you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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