You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
