Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
