Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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