The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
