Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
