I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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