Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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