i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I would fuck him just for his dog
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
