he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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