I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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